Working through fear in new places

I have been holding a lot of fear in me the past week. Fear of what, I am not sure since there is nothing really to fear in this experience; people are kind, questions are being asked and answered in a safe manner, no one is causing any problems, and everyone is trying to be deliberately gracious. But this past week I wrestled with it, and realized this is who I am, I have always been this way. In every new experience I need a few days to settle in, test the waters and make sure it is safe. I have never had an immersive community- based art experience like this before, and so it would make sense that instead of feeling this about the whole experience, I would be directed towards what I am making. Although the focus of this week was to use our surroundings, and not be bound to a studio, I found myself starting to work indoors, re-creating a studio, the exact thing I was trying to avoid doing. But with a bit of time, probably the normal amount of time for me in new situations, I broke out of the studio I re-created for myself and started doing the things I wanted to accomplish. This fear is a part of me, and it must be important to my personal story, but it feels good to be with a group of people and in a program that didn’t even notice. By not directly noticing, I was able to do what I needed to do to move beyond it and start learning.